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True Tales

… And Then I Had to Windex All the Cases

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We had a “customer” come in looking for matching wedding bands for him and his soon-to-be wife. As my office manager bent down to show him a ring, he pressed his bare manhood against the glass. She quickly came in the back office and told me what had happened and I called the police, who didn’t pick up (in our small town, they are open only banking hours). So I called dispatch at the next town and they sent over an officer. The officer walked around the store and every time he approached the flasher, the man would face the other way but continue to press against the glass. Feeling the heat, the flasher made a move to leave, but the officer stepped in front of him, looked down and pointed right at the man’s fly as if to scold it. The man looked down, tucked it in and apologized under his breath as he fled out the door. The cop went after him and returned shortly to tell us the man claimed he had just used the bathroom at a convenience store. The officer disputed his story given the amount of full three-piece exposure and asked him not to return, to which the man said, “Where am I supposed to buy my wedding rings then?” The officer told him that given the embarrassment, he felt that neither us nor the flasher should feel comfortable doing business from here on out. We thanked the officer, then I drew the short straw and got to Windex all the cases. — told anonymously to INSTORE’s Big Survey, 2016 


This article originally appeared in the July 2017 edition of INSTORE.

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True Tales

One-Legged Man Leaves Trail of Devastation In Search of Ice Cream

His parting words were … My wife is going to kill me.

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Our shop was very busy one afternoon, when all of a sudden my husband yells, “Oh s#!@, call 911!” and goes running out the door just as a car hops the curb and crashes into the glass door and surrounding concrete wall of the Safeway next door to us. My husband (who is a former policeman) assists the motorist as he rolls the car back off the curb and into a parking slot. He had meant to park the car, but accidentally hit the gas instead of the brake. As one of our staff is talking to the 911 operator, they ask, “Does the motorist have any visible injuries?” Hollie, our manager, was quick to let them know that the driver had only one leg, but that it didn’t happen because of the crash. (Turns out his amputation was a month old.) This man had “borrowed” his wife’s car while she was out of town and he kept saying, “She’s going to kill me!” So, the fire department comes, the paramedics come … the guy says he’s fine. He says he needs to go over to the grocery store to get what he came for: ice cream. Said he’d be back to talk to the police after he got that and away he goes with his crutches. Police come … they wait and wait … pretty soon, here he comes, driving one of those complimentary electric carts for shoppers, and as we’re all watching in disbelief, he drives right into the large decorative post in front of our shop. Backs up and then drives once again into the post as he was trying to get by it to talk to the cop. — Teri Vogan, Vogan Gold & Silver Works, Inc., Colorado Springs, CO

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True Tales

If She Didn’t Like the Platinum, She Really Won’t Like the Moissanite

This real customer wanted the sheen of sparkly copper.

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A customer sent her fiancé into the store with a piece of copper wire coated with a sparkling something. He said she wanted a ring just like it in platinum with the same finish. We told him there was no finish available to re-create what he was showing us. We called a month later to tell him his platinum band was ready for pickup. When they came in, she became quite snarly because the sparkle finish she asked for was not there. We tried to explain, but she was not hearing us. She said she needed the sparkle to remind her every day of “the sparkle in their lives.” She demanded to know why it took us a month to tell her it was not possible. We explained that we had told her fiancé the day he came in. When she glared at him and asked why he didn’t tell her, he just looked at the floor. (She is 5 foot tall. He is 6 feet 4 inches.) She refused the platinum band we had special-ordered and walked out of the store. We were left to wonder what will happen when she finds out the focal stone in her engagement ring isn’t the 1.5-carat diamond she thinks it is, but rather a stunning moissanite at a tenth the price?

Provided anonymously to INSTORE’s Big Survey

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True Tales

A 5-Carat Diamond Wasn’t Big Enough for This Client

Go big or go home? A jeweler wishes this customer would.

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A CLIENT LOOKED at many different fancy yellows, each above 5 carats, for over six months with countless meetings and still couldn’t decide. The most recent excuse? “It’s just not big enough.”

Provided anonymously to INSTORE’s Big Survey

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