Fun

11 Things That Would Indicate You’re a Big Store

If Warren Buffet owns you, you’re a big store.

Published

12 years ago

May 22, 2012

Trace Shelton

SO, ARE YOU BIG?

No,we don’t mean regular, garden-variety big. Lots of our readers are big stores, and you have a lot to be proud of. Being big is great. (That said, being small has its benefits, too. But that’s another story.)

But in this story, we’re not talking about the merely large. We’re talking about BIG stores — epic, monstrous, goliath-sized temples of business!

Bigger than a Pirates of the Caribbean sequel. Bigger than a German’s love crush on David Hasselhoff. Bigger than a Big Gulp.

How do you know big?

Big is obvious. Big leaves no doubt. Big makes even the most confident self-purchaser’s knees quiver a bit, and a single bead of sweat appear on the forehead of the most self-assured engagement shopper (despite a climate-controlled 72-degree environment).

So are you that kind of big? You know, big? Take INDESIGN’s little quiz to find out. If any of these statements apply to your store, stop right away. You’ve passed. You qualify. You’re one of the big.

Congratulations. And tread lightly, lest you crush the rest of us mortals with your massive footprints.

And if you’re not big yet (and want to be), keep at it. Your future legend awaits.

YOU KNOW YOU’RE A BIG STORE IF…

1. Anyone on your staff has the phrase “Social Media” in his title.

2. You specifically hire someone who can say, “We don’t charge sales tax, we just collect it,” in Cantonese.

3. Warren Buffett owns you.

4. The team you sponsor plays in Fenway Park.

5. You commission your own store ringtone.

6. J. Lo has ever stepped foot in your store.

7. Your salespeople ride Segways.

8. Your annual expense for toilet paper and hand soap is in the five figures.

9. You’re making money while sleeping.

10. You pay a lower tax rate than your administrative assistant.

11. The Fed says you’re too big to fail.

When There’s No Succession Plan, Call Wilkerson

Bob Wesley, owner of Robert C. Wesley Jewelers in Scottsdale, Ariz., was a third-generation jeweler. When it was time to enjoy life on the other side of the counter, he weighed his options. His lease was nearing renewal time and with no succession plan, he decided it was time to call Wilkerson. There was plenty of inventory to sell and at first, says Wesley, he thought he might try to manage a sale himself. But he’s glad he didn’t. “There’s no way I could have done this as well as Wilkerson,” he says. Wilkerson took responsibility for the entire event, with every detail — from advertising to accounting — done, dusted and managed by the Wilkerson team. “It’s the complete package,” he says of the Wilkerson method of helping jewelers to easily go on to the next phase of their lives. “There’s no way any retailer can duplicate what they’ve done.”