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11 Things That Would Indicate You’re a Big Store

If Warren Buffet owns you, you’re a big store.

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SO, ARE YOU BIG?

No,we don’t mean regular, garden-variety big. Lots of our  readers are big stores, and you have a lot to be proud of. Being big is great. (That said, being small has its benefits, too. But that’s another story.)

But in this story, we’re not talking about the merely large. We’re talking about BIG stores — epic, monstrous, goliath-sized temples of business!

Bigger than a Pirates of the Caribbean sequel. Bigger than a German’s love crush on David Hasselhoff. Bigger than a Big Gulp.

How do you know big?

Big is obvious. Big leaves no doubt. Big makes even the most confident self-purchaser’s knees quiver a bit, and a single bead of sweat appear on the forehead of the most self-assured engagement shopper (despite a climate-controlled 72-degree environment). 

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So are you that kind of big? You know, big? Take INDESIGN’s little quiz to find out. If any of these statements apply to your store, stop right away. You’ve passed. You qualify. You’re one of the big

Congratulations. And tread lightly, lest you crush the rest of us mortals with your massive footprints.

And if you’re not big yet (and want to be), keep at it. Your future legend awaits.

YOU KNOW YOU’RE A BIG STORE IF…

1. Anyone on your staff has the phrase “Social Media” in his title.

2. You specifically hire someone who can say, “We don’t charge sales tax, we just collect it,” in Cantonese.

3. Warren Buffett owns you.

4. The team you sponsor plays in Fenway Park.

5. You commission your own store ringtone.

6. J. Lo has ever stepped foot in your store.

7. Your salespeople ride Segways.

8. Your annual expense for toilet paper and hand soap is in the five figures.

9. You’re making money while sleeping.

10. You pay a lower tax rate than your administrative assistant.

11. The Fed says you’re too big to fail.

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Trace Shelton is the editor-in-chief of INSTORE magazine. He can be reached at [email protected].

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SPONSORED VIDEO

Celebrate Your Retirement with Wilkerson

For nearly three decades, Suzanne and Tom Arnold ran a successful business at Facets Fine Jewelry in Arlington, Va. But the time came when the Arnolds wanted to do some of the things you put off while you’ve got a business to run. “We decided it was time to retire,” says Suzanne, who claims the couple knew how to open a store, how to run a store but “didn’t know how to close a store.” So, they hired Wilkerson to do it for them. When she called, Suzanne says Wilkerson offered every option for the sale she could have hoped for. Better still, “the sale exceeded our financial goals like crazy,” she says. And customers came, not only to take advantage of the going-out-of-business buys and mark-downs, but to wish a bon voyage to the beloved proprietors of a neighborhood institution. “People were celebrating our retirement, and that was so special,” says says.

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