Connect with us

Fun

11 Things That Would Indicate You’re a Big Store

If Warren Buffet owns you, you’re a big store.

Published

on

SO, ARE YOU BIG?

No,we don’t mean regular, garden-variety big. Lots of our  readers are big stores, and you have a lot to be proud of. Being big is great. (That said, being small has its benefits, too. But that’s another story.)

But in this story, we’re not talking about the merely large. We’re talking about BIG stores — epic, monstrous, goliath-sized temples of business!

Bigger than a Pirates of the Caribbean sequel. Bigger than a German’s love crush on David Hasselhoff. Bigger than a Big Gulp.

How do you know big?

Big is obvious. Big leaves no doubt. Big makes even the most confident self-purchaser’s knees quiver a bit, and a single bead of sweat appear on the forehead of the most self-assured engagement shopper (despite a climate-controlled 72-degree environment). 

Advertisement

So are you that kind of big? You know, big? Take INDESIGN’s little quiz to find out. If any of these statements apply to your store, stop right away. You’ve passed. You qualify. You’re one of the big

Congratulations. And tread lightly, lest you crush the rest of us mortals with your massive footprints.

And if you’re not big yet (and want to be), keep at it. Your future legend awaits.

YOU KNOW YOU’RE A BIG STORE IF…

1. Anyone on your staff has the phrase “Social Media” in his title.

2. You specifically hire someone who can say, “We don’t charge sales tax, we just collect it,” in Cantonese.

3. Warren Buffett owns you.

4. The team you sponsor plays in Fenway Park.

5. You commission your own store ringtone.

6. J. Lo has ever stepped foot in your store.

7. Your salespeople ride Segways.

8. Your annual expense for toilet paper and hand soap is in the five figures.

9. You’re making money while sleeping.

10. You pay a lower tax rate than your administrative assistant.

11. The Fed says you’re too big to fail.

Advertisement

Trace Shelton is the editor-in-chief of INSTORE magazine. He can be reached at [email protected].

Advertisement

SPONSORED VIDEO

Wilkerson Testimonials

Wilkerson Helped This Jeweler to Navigate His Retirement Sale Despite a Pandemic

Hosting a going-out-of-business sale when the coronavirus pandemic hit wasn’t a part of Bob Smith’s game plan for his retirement. Smith, the owner of E.M. Smith Jewelers in Chillicothe, Ohio, says the governor closed the state mid-way through. But Smith chose Wilkerson, and Wilkerson handled it like a champ, says Smith. And when it was time for the state to reopen, the sale continued like nothing had ever happened. “I’d recommend Wilkerson,” he says. “They do business the way we do business.”

Promoted Headlines

Advertisement

Advertisement

Advertisement

Subscribe


BULLETINS

INSTORE helps you become a better jeweler
with the biggest daily news headlines and useful tips.
(Mailed 5x per week.)

Latest Comments

Most Popular