Fun

11 Things That Would Indicate You’re a Big Store

If Warren Buffet owns you, you’re a big store.

Published

12 years ago

May 22, 2012

Trace Shelton

SO, ARE YOU BIG?

No,we don’t mean regular, garden-variety big. Lots of our readers are big stores, and you have a lot to be proud of. Being big is great. (That said, being small has its benefits, too. But that’s another story.)

But in this story, we’re not talking about the merely large. We’re talking about BIG stores — epic, monstrous, goliath-sized temples of business!

Bigger than a Pirates of the Caribbean sequel. Bigger than a German’s love crush on David Hasselhoff. Bigger than a Big Gulp.

How do you know big?

Big is obvious. Big leaves no doubt. Big makes even the most confident self-purchaser’s knees quiver a bit, and a single bead of sweat appear on the forehead of the most self-assured engagement shopper (despite a climate-controlled 72-degree environment).

So are you that kind of big? You know, big? Take INDESIGN’s little quiz to find out. If any of these statements apply to your store, stop right away. You’ve passed. You qualify. You’re one of the big.

Congratulations. And tread lightly, lest you crush the rest of us mortals with your massive footprints.

And if you’re not big yet (and want to be), keep at it. Your future legend awaits.

YOU KNOW YOU’RE A BIG STORE IF…

1. Anyone on your staff has the phrase “Social Media” in his title.

2. You specifically hire someone who can say, “We don’t charge sales tax, we just collect it,” in Cantonese.

3. Warren Buffett owns you.

4. The team you sponsor plays in Fenway Park.

5. You commission your own store ringtone.

6. J. Lo has ever stepped foot in your store.

7. Your salespeople ride Segways.

8. Your annual expense for toilet paper and hand soap is in the five figures.

9. You’re making money while sleeping.

10. You pay a lower tax rate than your administrative assistant.

11. The Fed says you’re too big to fail.

Looking for a Seamless Sale? Call Wilkerson

After almost 60 years in business, Breakiron Jewelers in Erie, Pennsylvania, was closing its doors. And the store’s owner, Linda Breakiron, was ready for it. She had run the store as its sole owner since the beginning of the millennium and was looking forward to a change. Of course, she called Wilkerson. Breakiron talked to other jewelers who had used Wilkerson and was satisfied with their response. “They always had positive feedback,” she recalls. With the sales, marketing and even additional inventory that Wilkerson provided, Breakiron insists she could never have accomplished her going-out-of-business sale without Wilkerson’s help. She’s now ready for the journey ahead, but looking back, she’d be sure to recommend Wilkerson. “They just made the whole process very seamless.”