INTRODUCTION: Many sales trainers suggest holding sales meetings on Tuesdays or Fridays, but your store’s reality will obviously determine the best time for your meetings. Your weekly meeting can last 30 minutes, 45 minutes or 60 minutes.
Week 9 (Mar 2-8): Asking Relationship & Selling Questions
OPENING SEQUENCE (5-7 minutes)
Minutes 1-2: Recognition & Praise
- Start with specific wins from yesterday/this week
- Point out behaviors you want repeated
- Examples: “Sarah’s perfect use of the T.O. technique” or “Mike’s follow-up that brought a $5,000 sale”
- Make it sincere and specific
Minutes 3-4: Numbers Check & Store Updates
- Yesterday’s sales highlights (what sold, who sold it)
- Today’s appointments and special situations
- Rush repairs ready for pickup
- Items no longer in cases
- Quick progress check on weekly/monthly goals
- This week’s spiff — “Secret Item”
Minutes 5-7: Team Connection
- Inspirational quote (rotate who selects)
- Check current gold prices (market awareness)
- Any personal celebrations to acknowledge
- Set positive energy for the day
CORE TRAINING SECTION (20-45 minutes)
FEATURED SUBJECT
Asking Relationship & Selling Questions
Training resources for this lesson — Shane Decker’s columns in December 2011, June 2013, February 2016, and June 2018.
The Big Idea
One of the biggest complaints customers have about salespeople is that they don’t really care — they just want to sell something. And here’s the uncomfortable truth: most salespeople talk too much. They’re so worried about what they’re going to say next that they don’t actually hear their customer.
Shane puts it bluntly: “Ever wonder why you have two ears and only one mouth? I’ll give you a hint: They’re not just for wiggling.”
The counterintuitive reality is that the more you get clients to talk, the higher your closing ratio. Some salespeople think that by talking more, they can control the sale — but it’s actually just the opposite. When you ask relationship and selling-specific questions, you control the conversation. You find out what they’re celebrating and exactly what they want. And here’s the magic: clients will often talk themselves into the purchase, which makes closing almost effortless.
The Two Types of Questions
1. Relationship Questions (Personal Connection)
Relationship questions help you get to know why the client came in. They build the human connection and uncover what they’re celebrating. Always make the presentation about your customer, not about you.
Examples:
- “Is this for someone special?”
- “What’s the occasion?”
- “How did you two meet?”
- “How long have you been married?”
- “What’s her name?” (Get the spouse’s name early)
What to listen for: Trigger phrases like “she’s always wanted…” or “she’s told me many times she wished she could have…” usually mean the sale is already closed.
2. Selling-Specific Questions (The “Exacts”)
Selling-specific questions help you find out exactly what the client wants — their preferences, parameters, and yes, their budget (without ever asking “What’s your budget?”).
Why you never ask about budget directly: Asking “How much do you want to spend?” makes clients think you only care about their money. If you ask this of a man in front of his wife or girlfriend, you’ve embarrassed him by putting him in a price box. He doesn’t want her to think he’s cheap.
The smarter approach: By asking what size diamond, what shape, what metal, what style — you discover their budget without ever saying the word. It’s also a lot easier to go down in price than to go up.
Examples:
- “What have you already seen that you liked?”
- “Did she give you any hints?”
- “What style does she normally wear?”
- “What size diamond did you have in mind?”
- “What shape is her favorite?”
The Ask-Listen-Paraphrase-Close Technique
This is Shane’s core method. Here’s how it flows:
Ask — Pose a relationship or selling-specific question.
Listen — Really listen. Look them in the eye. When a client is speaking, never interrupt — it’s a sale killer.
Paraphrase — Repeat back what they said in a way that shows you heard them and agree.
Close — Every question you ask can be turned into a reassurance close.
Watch how this works:
Example 1:
- You: “Is this for a special occasion?”
- Client: “Yes, it’s for our 30th anniversary.”
- You: “Women love surprises on their anniversary. You’re in the right spot — let’s get started!”
Example 2:
- You: “Did she say what she wants?”
- Client: “A 3-carat oval diamond.”
- You: “Every woman wants a 3-carat oval — that’s a dream-ender right there.”
Notice what’s happening: you ask, they answer, you validate their answer with enthusiasm and reassurance. Do this throughout the entire presentation — not just at the end. The goal is to become so smooth that the client doesn’t even realize you’re closing.
Practical Tips
Write things down. Keep a notepad in front of you. When clients see you writing down their anniversary date or her ring size, they know you’re listening. Use a quality pen — not a Bic from Walmart.
Get their name early. Introduce yourself first — when you give your name, they’ll give you theirs. Getting their name only when writing up the sale is a sale killer. It makes them think you didn’t care until their money was involved.
Don’t interrogate. Ask questions throughout the presentation, not all at once. It should feel like a natural conversation, not a police interview.
Don’t volunteer technical information. Never offer technical details unprompted — it’s a sale killer if they don’t want it. Ask questions first to see if they’ve done research.
Practice Scenarios
Break into pairs. One person plays the client, one plays the salesperson.
Scenario 1: A man walks in and says he’s looking for “something for his wife.” Use relationship questions to uncover the occasion, then selling-specific questions to narrow down what she’d love. Practice turning every answer into a reassurance close.
Scenario 2: A couple comes in looking at engagement rings. Practice asking questions of both — she buys style and sentiment, he buys peace of mind and freedom from risk. Use the Ask-Listen-Paraphrase-Close technique with each of them.
CLOSING SEQUENCE (5-8 minutes)
Option A – Team Member Presentation (twice monthly)
- 5-minute presentation by assigned staff
- Topics can include:
- Book Report: 5-10 key takeaways from a business book
- Customer Experience Report: What other retailers do well
- Mystery Shop Report: Insights from visiting competitors
- Learning Summary: Online course or training completed
Option B – Action Planning (alternate weeks)
- Review “wow” opportunities for the day
- Assign follow-up calls
- Preview upcoming store events
- Set individual daily goals
- Quick round: “What’s one thing you’ll implement today?”
FINAL MINUTE
- Restate the main learning point: “The more you get clients to talk, the higher your closing ratio.”
- Team energy boost (high-five, cheer, or affirmation)
- “Let’s make today count!”
- Open doors ready to excel
