Inspired firstly by David Letterman's "Top Ten Lists", secondly by the funny listmakers at McSweeneys.net, and finally by the really spicy Indian curry we had at dinner, Instore introduces a new feature: "Listapalooza".Inspired firstly by David Letterman's “Top Ten Lists”, secondly by the funny listmakers at McSweeneys.net, and finally by the really spicy Indian curry we had at dinner, Instore introduces a new feature: “Listapalooza”.
Movie Names you could use to describe your Least Favorite Customers
The Grudge
Frantic
I'll See You In My Dreams
The Jerk
Gone In 60 Seconds
The Neverending Story
American Psycho
Get A Clue
I, Robot
The Man Who Knew Too Much
Mission: Impossible
The Running Man
Liar Liar
The Vanishing
One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest
Chicken Run
The World Is Not Enough
The seven steps of the sale, for the average salesperson
Planning and/or preparation
Introduction or opening
Questioning
Presentation
Overcoming objections/negotiating
Close or closing
After-sales follow-up
The three steps of the sale, by Johnny from the Stephen King novel "The Dead Zone"
Touch customer's sleeve.
Close.
Severe headache with occasional bloody noses.
Adjectives rarely used by gemologists, in order of likelihood
Mauve
Dope
Sassssssy!
Sucka-Free
Bootylicious
Ungrateful, back-stabbing …
Squishy
New GIA clarity grades under consideration
Slightly More Included (SMI)
Really, Really Very Badly Included (RRVBI)
Explosion at the Styrofoam Peanut Factory (ESPF)
Oh My God, What the Hell is That Trapped In There … and It's Moving! (OMGWT-HITTITAIM)
Actual professional wrestlers who should consider getting into jewelry sales after they retire, because their names are just
so-o perfect
The Rock
"Stalker'' Barry Windham
Dude Love
The Interrogator
Ice Train
Man of Question
Mini Goldust
Scott Studd
Glacier
Heavy Metal
"Million Dollar Man" Ted Dibiase
The Iron Sheik
Movie names you could use to descirbe your store's inventory
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
Must Love Dogs
Cold Case
Dead Ringers
Blast From the Past
The Untouchables
Dawn of the Dead
Panic Room
Goin' South
The Shining
Very Bad Things
The Quick and The Dead
Diamond terminology that sounds dirty, but isn't
Cleavage
Girdle
Semi-Mount
Bodycolor
Abrasion
Bearding
Cavity
Internal Graining
Twinning Wisp
Play lists on your boss's ipod
It's Good To Be Me Songs
Songs To Count Money By
Songs To Fire People By
What I Listen To When I Lock the Door To My Office
Celine Dion (Best 0f)
Statements from laxative commercials you could use to inspire or direct your staff during a dificult period
"This, too, shall pass".
"Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now"
"Stay regular."
"You'll get no surprises – but you'll feel better in the morning, as sure as the sun rises."
Functions in Microsoft Excel that, were they applicable to real life, would prove very useful in running your store
Undo
Refresh
Find
Replace
Save Workspace
Hide/Unhide
Merge/Lock Cells
Draw/Erase Borders
Resize Organization Chart
Trace Error
Consolidate
Shrink To Fit
Restrict Permission
Show the Office Assistant
Justify
Validation
80s Band names you could use to describe variously performing pockets within your sales staff
Top Performers
The Specials
The Cure
Kraftwerk
The Romantics
Aggressive
Fine Young Cannibals
Go-Go's
Great to have around
Fun Boy Three
World Party
Neither here nor there
Human League
Men at Work
A bit too chatty
A Flock of Seagulls
Talking Heads
Not the sharpest tacks
Simple Minds
The Lemonheads
Kajagoogo
Bananarama
Weak
Faith No More
The Pretenders
Soft Cell
Really weak
Level 42
The Vapors
Just plain hopeless
Breathe
Things you could tell yourself, as a customer rants at you, if the mantra 'The customer is always right' is no longer working
"The Customer Is Bigger Than Me"
"The Customer Knows Tae Kwan Do"
"The Customer Enlists the Services of a Very Good Personal Injury Lawyer"
"The Customer Is Always Wrong … But Luckily I'm a Compulsive Liar"
"The Customer Can Always Go To Epinions.com and Say Terrible Things About Our Store"
