Awards season is one of the most important times of year for jewelry manufacturers. Before the Oscars/Emmys/Grammys, public relations moles spend weeks working the phones to get their jewelry worn by the right celebrity. After all, having Renee Zellweger wear your necklace down the red carpet could mean hundreds of thousands of dollars in free publicity, so it pays to be persistent. Here we list, by category, celebrities pursued by the most elite jewelry manufacturers (i.e. the Harry Winstons of the world), as well as some others who, we’re guessing, would have a hard time getting free jewelry from a Cracker Jack box.
the end zone
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it’s hard to be the boss. We know. If you’re not thinking clearly, the orders you give can be confusing … or worse. But even on your worst day, we’re guessing that you’ve never, ever written or said anything as dumb as the bosses below. (Note: These quotes came from a magazine contest looking for real-life ?Dilbert Managers?.)
1. ?One day my boss asked me to submit a status report to him concerning a project I was working on. I asked him if tomorrow would be soon enough. He said, ?If I wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow to ask for it.’?
2. Security memo from a prominent software company reads: ?As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks.?
3. Manager of a shipping company to an underling: ?What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter.?
4. Attempting to crack down on computer abuse, one boss writes: ?Email is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business.?
5. One manager emphasizes time over all other things: ?Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule.?
6. On the other end of the spectrum, another manager is unhappy his underling has finished a job too quickly: ?No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We’ve been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I’ll let you know when it’s time to tell them.?
7. Quote from the boss: ?Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say.?
8. One boss maintains a proud tradition of misdirection with the following memo: ?We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees.?