DO YOU REMEMBER the first time? The first time you made a big diamond sale — or any sale at all? The first time you knew intuitively what to do with a custom design project? The first time a training session made a concrete difference in how you ran your business? The first time a custom project spoke to you? In the following pages, retail jewelers share their stories about their first times, how it felt, and the valuable lessons they learned as a result.

LAND A CUSTOMER FOR LIFE
Mark Loren, Mark Loren Designs, Fort Myers, FL

Here is a first that hasn’t occurred before in my over 40 years of making and designing jewelry! Had a young man contact me about a month ago, and he said he had contacted four local jewelers to see if they could assist him in making his own engagement ring for his fiancé. He eventually found us on the internet and reached out, and he was so excited when I told him we would LOVE to help him with this endeavor! He came in with his great-grandfather’s gold teeth (which he was willing to exchange for clean scrap gold), and the entire shop staff assisted him in the various stages of melting, rolling, forging, welding and finishing the ring. He did about 80% of the work himself in one afternoon, and you can imagine the huge smile on his face when we placed the ring in a Mark Loren box and handed it to him. Luckily, my PR firm had videographers in the gallery that day doing social media videos, and they were able to capture the entire process.

HOW IT FELT. It felt like helping him was exactly what we were meant to do. Assisting him at that level is how we share our love for what we are trained to do.

WHAT I LEARNED. It occurred to me that this could go viral with an entirely new trend of guys wanting to make their partner’s ring or vice-versa. Luckily, our shop is set up for this, and we plan to encourage more of it to set ourselves apart from all those stores that told him they couldn’t help him!

LET THE JEWELRY SPEAK TO YOU
Karen Hollis, K Hollis Jewelers, Batavia, IL

I will never forget the first time I did custom. A woman came in with an anniversary band that had seven diamonds in it. She wanted to make a ring and a necklace. I told her I’d take out the diamonds and call her back. I lined up the diamonds and heard a loud male voice saying that the diamonds did not want to be separated! I called her right back and told her about the voice I heard. Her son had passed away several years ago in his 20s. She said, “Of course he [her deceased son] put himself in the middle of the process.” That was a memory I will cherish forever. We have become very close friends and have shared many more custom pieces. I haven’t heard any loud voices since, but magical things happen when I move loose stones around to make a design.

HOW IT FELT. It kinda scared me a little!

WHAT I LEARNED. I learned to listen and trust the moments. The customers come in and sometimes I just hold a piece, pause, and they know I’m waiting for the idea to come. This is my favorite thing to do. I talk with every customer who comes in or is waiting for a watch battery about estate jewelry, buying gold, and creating gifts from the jewelry they already have in their jewelry box. To me, it’s all about creating a lasting memory and guiding the customer through it. I also give note cards to my customers so they can write down the story of where the stones came from.

LET’S TAKE A CHANCE ON THIS
James Sickinger, Sickinger’s Jewelry, Lowell, IN

Selling our first lab-grown diamond opened the door to a significant increase in monthly sales, specifically of bridal sales, gross sales in general, and increased profit margins. We often complain that we are always a day late and a dollar short in embracing new trends and products. We jumped onto the lab diamond trend early and have never looked back. And it took off, it was a complete success, especially in loose stones for bridal. Our clientele is basically working class, they enjoy jewelry, and they enjoy quality, but they’re on a budget.

HOW IT FELT. Wonderful. It feels good to jump on board something that is a success. There’s been a lot of excitement in the public. It’s good to be on the winning side.

WHAT I LEARNED. Sometimes, you have to step out there and take a chance. We’ve always bemoaned the fact that we’re slow, old, and traditional, and we don’t make changes easily. So, usually, when the newest hot item comes along, by the time we decide to get aboard, it’s over. So, with labs, we thought maybe it’s a niche market, but we’ll take the chance. We got bold and stepped out of our box.

IT’S OK TO JUST SAY NO
James Doggett, Doggett Jewelry, Kingston, NH

I fired my first client just before COVID hit. The woman came in looking to have a jacket made for her engagement ring. I had done her original engagement ring and diamond wedding band 15 years before and designed something similar to what she had with a lot more bling and in heavy platinum. I suggested a new head for her original diamond because the prongs were very worn at the base from rubbing against the band, and it needed retipping. She said she would have to think about it. So, I made the jacket she chose, and she came to pick it up; she was very happy. I asked if she was going to have me fix the engagement ring. She went off like a rocket demanding I rebuild the engagement ring for free “as any reputable jeweler would!” I tried to explain that 15 years of wear and tear was not something I was responsible for, and that she was responsible for their insurance and maintenance. She ranted a bit more and left. Several months later, she was back in with the jacket and engagement ring (minus the center stone of approximately 1 carat and several of the diamonds from the jacket) and a heavily bandaged left hand. The rings were twisted and mangled. It seems her hand got caught in a car door, and when her fingers swelled, her husband used bolt cutters and pliers to remove them. This led to her requiring stitches. At some point in all of this, her engagement stone and others disappeared. She demanded I repair everything for free “as any reputable jeweler would!” I asked if she had insured them (I had done a new appraisal when I created the jacket). She screamed between profanities that my insurance should have covered her purchase “like any reputable jeweler would.” I fired her on the spot.

HOW IT FELT. It felt wonderful and empowering.

WHAT I LEARNED: It is OK to say no. After years of trying to be everything to everyone who walked into my store, treating Karens with respect bordering on deference, I said, “No, I am not going to be bullied by their soul-sucking antics.”

I KNEW I COULD MAKE RETAIL WORK
Janne Etz, Contemporary Concepts, Cocoa, FL

I had been selling my jewelry at craft fairs for several years before I opened my store in December of 1992. Opening the store was scary and a big deal. I didn’t make a sale for the first couple of days and I was nervous about whether I’d bitten off more than I could chew. So, when that first lady bought a gemstone bead ring for $6, I was so excited. Then, when she wrote me a check, I think I kind of deflated. I hope I didn’t ACT deflated! I mentioned that I’d need to go to the bank to cash it because I wanted to put my first dollar earned in a frame on the wall. The lady was so excited that she was my first sale that she insisted on giving me an extra dollar! The dollar has been on my wall for so long (December will be 32 years) that I often don’t even notice it anymore. I’ve had three different floods in my store in the past 10 years, and the frame and the cardboard backing and the dollar itself have gotten soaked more than once. But I’m superstitious and don’t plan to ever replace or update that frame. I don’t believe I ever saw the lady again. Now, of course, I wish I had thought to write down her name so I could mentally thank her now and then.

HOW IT FELT. I was happy, grateful and proud that she was excited to be a part of my first selling experience in my new store.

WHAT I LEARNED. My parents were instrumental in encouraging me to go for it and helping me with the logistics of setting up and getting ready. I learned that I could, in fact, make the retail location thing work and live up to the faith my parents had in my capabilities.

REALIZE I AM NOT MY WORK
Eve J. Alfille, Eve J. Alfille Gallery and Studio, Evanston, IL

Way back, when I first started designing jewelry, I had the idea of creating a sundial watch. In 18K gold, and with a beautiful articulated bracelet, it was sensational (and accurate for our latitude!). I was very proud of it and hoped to use it as a sample of my fine work for years. However, the same day, a man who told me it was just the thing for his watch collection wanted to purchase it immediately. I so loved that piece I could not bear to part with it! But the guy was indignant: Is it not for sale? He insisted; I parted with the piece, sadly.

HOW IT FELT. I was so shocked, I started crying. Then I was embarrassed to seem so unprofessional.

WHAT I LEARNED. Later, an artist friend heard my story and told me something that has helped me to this day. He said: “I am not my work. I grow from my work. As one piece departs, it frees me to create another and another.” I never forgot this lesson.

HEARING SOMEONE IS AS IMPORTANT AS LISTENING
Susan Kauffman, Black Dog Jewelers, Lewisburg, PA

When I first started in the jewelry business, I worked for a chain jewelry store in a mall. Every Friday night, a couple would come through and look around. No one would wait on them. I was told that they were a “waste of time.” I would go over and talk to them and show them whatever they were looking at. This went on for some time. One Friday night, they came in, and the man was very specific. He was ready to buy a man’s ring. When the rest of the staff heard that, they were all over him. But he told them he would only buy from me because I took the time to talk to him and get to know him and his wife. I never rushed him or pressured him to buy. He spent $30,000. When his ring was done, he ordered a ring for his wife for $25,000, and he had his sons buy their engagement rings from me.

HOW IT FELT. I was excited to make the sale!

WHAT I LEARNED. Before someone spends money, they want to know who they are buying from. People can’t feel rushed or pressured. We were commissioned then, and while that can motivate sales staff, sometimes it gets out of hand. People skills are just as important as selling skills and that gets overlooked. It taught me that hearing someone is as important as listening.

FIND YOUR PEOPLE
Andrea Riso, the Talisman Collection, El Dorado Hills, CA

The first time I attended Vegas market, I went to JCK, Luxury and Couture. I was buying a LOT and met a woman who kept introducing me to people: Cindy Edelstein (RIP). She was like a warm hug. She was the godmother of independent designers and jewelry retailers. And then I turned around and saw Marie-Helene Morrow, who founded the designer-focused Reinhold Jewelers in Puerto Rico, and Janet Goldman, who founded Fragments Showroom. It was a moment I will never forget. Meeting all the designers who were my idols for decades was overwhelming. I remember looking around and thinking, “These are my people. I’ve finally found my people!” I followed Marie Helene into Stephen Webster’s salon, introduced myself to her and told her what I was doing there. She told me to never ever give up. I later chatted up Janet Goldman. She had so many people around her and so much going that it was impossible for her to talk. So, I went home and booked a succession of trips from California to New York City to shop the wholesale showroom at Fragments and buy jewelry for my store from her wholesale showroom largely because Janet had the ultimate knowledge of which designers to watch.

HOW IT FELT. Seeing Marie-Helene Morrow at the Wynn, speaking with Janet Goldman, in an environment where I was working to build the Talisman Collection, was comparable to being a rockstar groupie and running into Mick Jagger and Eric Clapton. I remember standing there, looking at them like my feet had grown roots into the Wynn carpet. It was overwhelming. I literally could not move.

WHAT I LEARNED. Meeting some of the icons of the designer jewelry industry felt like a beacon of reassurance from my mother in heaven that I was in the place where I should be, doing the work I’m meant to do.

BE OPEN TO NEW IDEAS
Heather Wahl, Heather Wahl, R.C. Wahl Jewelers, Des Plaines, IL

Our in-store custom process had been long and cumbersome, and while attending the Stuller Bridge event, I bought CounterSketch early in its release. I hoped it would improve our multi-hour consultation process. I attended the first online training, which was about embracing the process, asking the right questions, and quickly offering a quote. The presenter said the process should take 15 minutes, and I decided that I was going to try it one time without modification. I walked out of the room at the end of the online training with the enthusiasm of a student with a new tool I was excited to use, but very skeptical that the custom design process could take 15 minutes. But through the entire training, the idea was reinforced that the client just needs to be presented with their version of a custom design on the screen and be quoted a price, and it should and can be closed in 15 minutes. When the very next client came in, I did it exactly as I was trained, and sure enough, she was out the door with a picture and a receipt for her custom ring in 15 minutes.

HOW IT FELT. It was exciting to realize that the capital investment was worthwhile. And that for the first formal training course I took for our family business, I applied what I learned and it worked!

WHAT I LEARNED. While we use CounterSketch on occasion still, the real lesson was about listening and applying what I heard. Giving the client a price right then gave my clients the confidence and excitement to pay the deposit. It stopped our “I’ll be back” cycle on multi-hour custom consults. I now love that part of our business instead of dreading those appointments. I learned that growth and knowledge can come from places you never dreamed and to be open to the ideas others share, even if they differ from what you’ve been trained.

DON’T DWELL ON THE MISTAKES
Daniela Balzano, Water Street Jewelers, Guilford, CT

We opened our first store just over five years ago, in a back parking lot away from our current busier main strip location. Now we have a big staff with two great downtown locations! I had been a rep on the road for over 10 years and had developed strong relationships with many manufacturers. A nice handful of them supported me in opening my first brick-and-mortar location, and they helped me to build inventory over the first six months.

I was of course very vulnerable at first, learning about POS systems, merchandising, packaging, and jewelry repair. I even took a class in bench work! I wanted to truly understand the ins and outs of the business.

HOW IT FELT. Opening the store in 2019 was a pretty incredible experience. I started with one staff member, and she is still with me to this day. We remember celebrating the small handful of customers that used to come in. And now we can easily have 25-50 transactions in a day!

WHAT I LEARNED. I hope to keep feeling inspired, keep growing, and remain open-minded, and be openhearted to the many possibilities of our business. I remind myself every day of everything that is working correctly, and I try not to dwell on the mistakes that I have made. I learn from them and move forward!

EXPAND YOUR HORIZONS
Eric Stevens, Stevens Diamond Jewelers, West Springfield, MA

The first time I traveled overseas to buy diamonds in Israel was very memorable, and since then, I often travel to other countries because of the jewelry business. I am a third-generation jeweler, so I was essentially born into the business, but at the time of my first overseas buying trip, I was 22 and had been working in my father’s jewelry store since I was a young teenager. That trip, my father went along as well and we also flew to Cairo afterward as a holiday. My father is long retired, but I still travel with him frequently. I have been fortunate to travel to Israel and Belgium to buy diamonds and Turkey and Spain to visit jewelry manufacturing facilities.

HOW IT FELT. I was very excited to take my first trip overseas to attend a diamond show hosted in Tel Aviv, Israel. It put me in contact with suppliers that I never would have met otherwise. It was in 1995, so the world was a bigger place then as there was no internet where you could easily make contacts abroad.

WHAT I LEARNED. Working with diamond dealers in Israel, I was really excited to learn what overseas business is like and how it’s different. I learned the Hebrew word, mazal. In the diamond industry, when you say “mazal,” it’s a done deal and you agree on the terms. You could do a handshake on any amount up to millions of dollars. You never broke mazal, or your reputation was ruined. There was a lot of honor in what you said, and you honored your deals.

I also got the travel bug. I love to go new places and experience different cultures. I have learned that the world is much smaller and a more accessible today, and that although people are different everywhere, we are all people and generally enjoy similar things.

KNOW THE POWER OF A WARM WELCOME
Josh Perry, Perry’s Emporium, Wilmington, NC

My first time selling a diamond was exciting but intimidating at the same time. My customer came in and I greeted him from the sweet spot and showed him to the diamond counter. I was sweating as all eyes were on me, as the store owner’s son. As a recent GIA Diamonds graduate, I “knew more” than I actually knew. I remember my dad’s voice in the back of my head telling me, “Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.” So I gave him the warmest welcome I could and began to find some common ground and develop a relationship. After talking for a while, we eventually looked at diamonds and rings, I found something he liked, and we made a deal. I still see this client regularly some 12 years later.

HOW IT FELT. I often joke with my friend Kenny that I don’t know who was more nervous that day, me or him!

WHAT I LEARNED. Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
Wendy Woldenberg, WEND Jewelry, Seattle

After making several custom jewelry pieces, my friend Janine asked me to remake her engagement ring. It was an almost 2-carat solitaire diamond, and I was nervous to take the project on. I bought a pack of CZs the same size as her stone and made no less than eight sample sterling silver rings for her to try on! She selected one, and through crazy nerves, I made the ring start to finish with 18K yellow gold (another first) and her gorgeous stone. Not only did she LOVE the ring (she still wears it 15 years later), she has become my biggest cheerleader.

HOW IT FELT. I’ll never forget her trust and belief in me; she helped push me to a new level of accomplishment. I’ll never underestimate the power of believing in other artists, too, which is what our art gallery is all about.

WHAT I LEARNED. Through this experience, which took almost a year to complete, I learned to trust and believe in me too!

LOOK AT JEWELRY IN A NEW LIGHT
Autumn Knight, Arizona Watch & Jewelry Service, Tucson, AZ

Growing up in Tucson, I have always gone to the gem show, but the first time I attended the AGTA, I knew I had never in my life seen jewelry and gemstones as beautiful.

HOW IT FELT. It was a mind-blowing experience.

WHAT I LEARNED. It was the first time I realized that every piece of jewelry has its own story because every gemstone has to be hand-set. I now see jewelry as artwork rather than just something you wear on your body.

EMBRACE CHILDLIKE CREATIVITY
Rebecca Larson, Barry Peterson Jewelers, Ketchum, ID

I remember when I was first exposed to the jewelry industry was when I was little. My mother was the chairwoman of the Fine Arts Department for Idaho State University. She developed the master’s program in metalsmithing, and every student in that department was my babysitter. After school, I would ride the bus to the art department and sit in on the lectures and demonstrations my mother would give. To pass the time, I would raid her scrap bin and find interesting shapes left over from students cutting out their pieces.

HOW IT FELT. To this day, some of my favorite memories come from sitting at my mother’s bench, piecing the scraps together to create weird jewelry only my mother would wear.

WHAT I LEARNED. The opportunity to create outside of the box started me on a path into the fashion industry, which I am thankful to belong in.

ONLINE EXTRA: MORE FIRST-TIMERS

STAY HUMBLE
Cindi Haddad-Drew, Cindi’s Diamond & Jewelry Gallery, Foxboro, MA

“The first time I ever set a diamond. It was so nerve-racking. I was so worried I would chip, scratch or break it. I had my mentor watching over my shoulder, and he kept encouraging me that what I was doing was right and the results were perfect. I can honestly say that each time I set a diamond, and that is daily, I still get a twinge of concern. I think that helps keep me humble.”

RECOGNIZE THE FEELINGS ARE MUTUAL
Kirk Gentry, Storey Jewelers, Gonzales, TX

“For me, it was the first time I was invited to the wedding of an engagement ring customer. It showed me that the feelings I have about selling bridal are felt on both sides of the cases.”

ADOPT A CONFIDENT TONE
Kristi Widmar, Rasmussen Diamonds, Racine, WI

“The first time I made a sale I was maybe 15, and I had only been typing appraisals and helping out in the back. But it was Christmas and busy, so I went to help on the floor. The couple I helped was looking for diamond rings. They narrowed it down to two rings but could not decide. So, in my youth and naivete, I said “Why don’t you just get them both?” They looked at each other and said, “Yeah, why not?” So, they bought both rings. It set the tone for my selling in the future and a lesson for all the other sales associates.”

DON’T USE LOCKING TWEEZERS
Tom Duma, Thom Duma Fine Jewelry, Warren, OH

“About 40 years ago, I was using locking tweezers, and I was showing a female customer an oval gemstone. It popped out of the tweezers as I passed it to her, and the gem bounced off the glass and went right down her V-neck shirt. Of course, it got stuck in her bra. What an embarrassing situation for a young jeweler! Moral of the story: Don’t use locking tweezers!”

USE THE PAST TO PLOT THE FUTURE
Ellie Thompson, Ellie Thompson + Co., Chicago

I’m launching my first book! It’s a classic coffee table book, a design retrospective of sorts. It is also a memoir. I wrote about why I design jewelry the way I do and what influenced me along the way. The process taught me how looking back in a clear and non-judgmental way at the many years gone by, can energize and inform my future plans.

CONTROL THE TORCH!
Sue Parker, Nyman Jewelers, Escanaba, MI

“First time I soldered a hollow chain. Thankfully it was a scrap chain, because I instantly had two balls of gold. I learned my lesson on torch control quickly.” Sue Parker, Nyman Jewelers, Escanaba, MI

KNOW WHAT YOU NEED
Jim Carroll, Rogers Jewelry Co., Modesto, CA

“The first trade show I attended was 28 years ago. I quickly learned that you must know your business and what your company needs. The vendors are mostly just pushing their product lines. Be important to the vendors you need and do the most with.”

PRACTICE SITUATIONAL AWARENESS
David Blitt, Troy Shoppe Jewellers, Calgary AB

“I recall early in my business beginnings, two attractive young women came into my store looking for diamond rings. I had just gotten in my first rings and had them all in a roll that displayed all 36 at once. I took them out, and before I knew it, hands were everywhere. Fifteen minutes later, they left, and so did a $1,500 ring without payment. It was a lot of money in 1980 and a tough lesson for a naive store owner starting out.

LEARN TO BE HANDS ON
Marc Majors, Sam L. Majors, Midland, TX

“Years ago, we opened a new store, and I didn’t have a watchmaker or an in-house bench jeweler. I had to learn how to change watch batteries quickly. Bought the set and guide from Stuller and never looked back. I started learning how to do simple repairs, sizing and rhodium finishing pieces until I found a capable bench jeweler to start doing my work. I learned a lot by simply learning how to change watch batteries.”

BE RESOURCEFUL
Susan Maxon, Honors Gran, Dunedin, FL

“The first time I forged a bracelet! I was born and raised in Phoenix right after World War II. We lived across the street from the well-known silversmith Gran Miner. He was teaching the dying art of silversmithing to young men of the Navajo tribe who returned from the war. I would go across the street and watch them as they worked. I was 4 years old and could barely see over the side of the bench, but I could see enough. I’d go home and remove the wind-off strip of metal from the key of Planters Peanut cans. I’d hammer out bracelets for my dolls from this metal scrap. I used a tiny metal hammer that had been made for my father when he was a boy. Planters has done away with the wind-off key, but I still use that little antique hammer.”

BUY CAREFULLY
Krystal Shiklanian, Radiant Fine Jewelry, Plymouth, MI

I signed up for the Edge Academy. It helped me dive into my business from a different point of view. I’m more conscious of buying certain categories and vendors.

RUN WITH A SUCCESSFUL PROMOTION
Alan Perry, Perry’s Emporium, Wilmington, NC

I read a story about a jeweler in Kansas City doing a Rainy Day Diamond giveaway and called him and then started it in my store over 20 years ago and saw my engagement sales soar! I am still doing it to this day! We are No. 1 in our city!

OFFER EXTREME CUSTOMER SERVICE
Eileen Eichorn, Eichorn Jewelry, Decatur, IN

We had a couple who wanted to get married. The county clerk was unavailable so we accommodated them by finding a minister to perform the ceremony in our store!

EXPERIENCE THE THRILL OF DISCOVERY
Dianna Rae High, Dianna Rae Jewelry, Lafayette, LA

I will never forget the first time I attended the Tucson Gem Show! I was working in the Gemvision booth at the AGTA Show. This was when Gemvision was very new, so our booth was extremely busy, and it was exhausting but expected. But what I didn’t expect was the crazy variety of gems, fossils, rocks and people in what we called “the tents.” Thirty years later, I still go every year with the expectation that I’ll find something new and amazing.

SPEND MONEY TO MAKE MONEY
Tommy Thobe, the Village Gem, Pery Hall, MD

The first Tucson show I went to, I was overwhelmed. There was just SO MUCH. I was worried I was going to run out of cash. Then I remembered I had three credit cards. That did not make my wife happy. Then we sold everything. That made her happy. With the huge selection of anything and everything from a $2 fossil to an opal the size of a dime for $10,000, I would not miss the shows in Tucson for almost anything. The 70-degree weather is also nice in February.