IF YOU HAVEN’T given much thought to alter egos, it might be helpful to realize that developing an alternative personality serves more of a purpose than simply daydreaming.
It’s a surprisingly effective way to become the hero of your own story by focusing on attributes you’d like to possess that others seem to have. You might want to emulate a personality who appears to be all-knowing, deeply compassionate, optimistic, possessing superpowers, or simply a lot of fun. It’s a way for an introvert to become more outgoing, perhaps. Or a fearful person to take an occasional risk.
Adopting a powerful alter ego can help overcome a person’s self-doubt, unleash potential and achieve goals in life and in work, according to Todd Herman, author of The Alter Ego Effect. Successful people use alter egos to improve their performance, to escape the ordinary world and to make real changes in their lives.
An effective alter ego needs a clearly defined identity and story.
Who makes the best alter ego? A superhero? A movie or television star? A fictional character? The best alter ego is the one with whom you have the most profound emotional connection, Herman suggests. Is there someone from your past with whom you forged a deep connection?
It’s also possible to merge more than one character you admire and create your own unique alter ego. A favorite aunt merged with
Wonder Woman?
We asked retail jewelers to share their alter egos with us and explain how they relate to them in life and work. Their answers (and their alter egos) are as unique as they are.
Scarlett O’Hara | Character from the 1939 movie, Gone With The Wind
Annette Kinzie, Owner / Leonard Jewelry, Stillwater, OK
Scarlett O’Hara’s motto, “After all, tomorrow is another day,” is an optimistic and determined viewpoint that sustains me in my personal and professional life. I choose the strength to strive, seek and move forward, looking at each day as a new opportunity! I choose to be optimistic and am strong in my faith in God. So when obstacles occur, whether in my business, family, or personal life, I choose strength to overcome the problems. This may mean digging deep within my faith to fight for protection, picking up and moving forward, or looking at each day as a new opportunity
Edward Scissorhands | Character from the 1990 movie, Edward Scissorhands
Jamie Hollier, Owner / Balefire Goods, Arvada, CO
Edward Scissorhands connected to me because he represents “otherness” in that he is more interested in art and creativity versus the conformity and status that were priorities in the community where he found himself. It is kinda funny that I own a jewelry store because I think most people associate them with conformity and status, but Balefire is much more about celebrating our uniqueness and “otherness” through a focus on the misfit stones, artisan-made jewelry and unusual jewelry.
Barbie | Fashion doll
Stephenie Bjorkman, Owner / Sami Fine Jewelry, Fountain Hills, AZ
Who doesn’t want to be like Barbie? That B*%$#ch has everything! On a serious note, there are numerous reasons why Barbie serves as an excellent alter ego. Beyond being the queen of positivity, Barbie’s diverse careers and adventures inspire and motivate women of all ages to reach their full potential and embrace their true selves. Additionally, she demonstrates empathy and care for others, forming meaningful relationships with her friends and community. Barbie exudes confidence and encourages women to be true to themselves and believe in their abilities. Last but not least, she promotes an understanding of diversity, reminding us that our differences make the world a wonderful place.
J. Peterman | Character from the 1989-1998 TV show, Seinfeld
Eric Stevens, Owner / Stevens Diamond Jewelers, West Springfield, MA
I always liked his persona as a world adventurer with outlandish stories from around the globe. I love to travel, having been to around 30 different countries, and I also love to get off the beaten path to find a different experience that others may miss. I’m very comfortable meeting people from various cultures and learning about what their life is like. I could see myself in a jungle having dinner around the campfire with a tribe of lost pygmies. Just like J. Peterman, the stories that I would tell my friends would be full of adventure and embellishments. The memories and the stories of an experience are half the fun.
Doralee | Character played by Dolly Parton in the 1980 movie, 9 To 5
Daniela Balzano, Owner / Water Street Jewelers, Guilford and Madison, CT
Doralee is a daydreamer and a hard worker! She fights for positive change in the workplace, including flexible work hours, equal pay for male and female employees, and a safe work environment for women, all concepts that I stand behind! She also has a li’l wild side, and I think having fun is important in life. It’s all about balance! I relate to Dolly Parton as well because she’s a very positive person. You can shift the energy of a day by reminding yourself of all you have to be grateful for and focusing on the positive moments instead of the negative. Retail is challenging, and when we deal with a negative customer, we can either let that rule our day or we can change the energy by leaning into our positivity. Dolly is a wonderful person, and I even love to play her music in the store! It’s impossible to not be happy when you listen to Dolly!
Swedish Chef & Edna Mode | An amalgamation of the Swedish Chef from The Muppet Show and Edna Mode from the 2004 animated movie, The Incredibles
Katrina Sustachek, Certified Gemologist Appraiser / Rasmussen Diamonds, Mount Pleasant, WI
I have several alter egos, who I made up for my nieces and nephews when they were young. Their favorite is Chef Katrinka, a cross-between the Swedish Chef and Edna Mode from The Incredibles. She makes crazy things in the kitchen, and she makes a big mess. She even cracks eggs on her head sometimes, which gets a big laugh. Always delivered with a fake indiscernible accent and a heavy dose of sass! She comes from my love of the kids and entertaining them. It also helped when they got unruly; she would come out and could “yell” at them in a funny way. I have 10 nieces and nephews whom I babysat for and even nannied for several when they were young. During that time, I also did a lot of cooking for the kids, and Chef Katrinka turned my cooking into something fun and a bit of a show. If I had asked the kids to help when I was just Auntie Trina, they might have groaned or helped reluctantly, but when I was Chef Katrinka they wanted to help. Although she did make much more of a mess than I ever did.
Darth Vader | Character from the 1977 movie, Star Wars
Dan Linihan, Personal Jewelry Consultant / Worthmore Jewelers, Atlanta, GA
Darth Vader seemingly embodied an identity of evil and dedicated himself to a manipulative mentor until he had a massive breakthrough under extreme circumstances and became the good man he was meant to be. In my own way, I underwent a massive transformation brought forth by extreme circumstances. Twenty-five years ago, my daughter was killed during a surgical procedure. This is nothing anyone should have to live through. I did. I found myself broken from this emotional explosion. By broken, I mean literally broken. I ended up with a heart condition known as Takotsubo cardiomyopathy (broken heart syndrome). I could not continue the career path I was on, as it was too stressful with this condition. With a wife and two daughters, I needed to make a big decision. I decided to make a difference in people’s lives. Now I make people happy for a living. I can think of no other profession that can do this. At Worthmore Jewelers, I make people happy every day. I took my personal tragedy to guide me to make a positive change.
Donna | Character from the 2011-2019 TV Show, Suits
Andrea Riso, Owner / The Talisman Collection, El Dorado Hills, CA
I often pretend I’m Donna from Suits with my clients. Attempting “read your mind” service, trying to wear beautiful outfits with a little whimsy and a tiny bit of sex appeal, and working myself to the bone for the love of my life, like she did in that series. Except the love of her life was her boss, whereas my love is my store. I do my best to copy her style of providing clients with “read your mind” service. I try to serve their needs before they ask. I use mnemonics to remember their names and characteristics of their pets and their families and their special times so that when they come in, they feel the love. I listen more than I speak and take copious notes and recordings. I pretend every one of them is my boss and that I am their personal and professional goto jeweler, gemologist, designer, advocate and protector. The clients confide in me and trust me. I work hard to grow the relationships and to be indispensable to them. I put my work life first and minimize my own needs, which is not healthy but makes for happy customers who are very loyal and who share the love.
Lelo | Character from the 1997 movie, The Fifth Element
Laura Kaplowitz, Graduate Gemologist / Worthmore Jewelers, Atlanta
I vibe with her character because she is vulnerable and underestimated but very strong and always seeking knowledge. She has a mission, she wants to help and although she doesn’t realize it initially, she has the strength to do what needs to be done. How does this relate to a woman who has been in the jewelry business for over 25 years and is a graduate gemologist and appraiser? I need to draw from my strength when people sometimes underestimate what I can do, showing that I have the knowledge and confidence to get them what they need. It’s not saving the world, but I think it’s helping people if I can bring an understanding of what our industry does, which ultimately brings happiness to people.
The Wizard Of Oz | Character from the 1939 movie, Character from the 1939 movie, The Wizard Of Oz The Wizard Of Oz
Sandra Riper, Owner / Sunset Hill Jewelers, West Chester, PA
My office has no ceiling and a two-way mirror, so I hear all and I can see the sales floor. There are times when I speak unseen like the Great and all-knowing Oz with helpful suggestions to my staff and customers. After 42 years and four generations of clients, I suppose I do know a lot!
Ted Lasso | Character from the 2020-2023 Ted Lasso TV show, Ted Lasso
Michael Fleck, Owner / Occasions, Fine Jewelry, Midland, TX
I love Ted’s compassion and drive to be better. He’s not afraid to try something new and sees the best in people. Ted quoted Walt Whitman: “Be curious, not judgmental.” That spoke to me the most. I try to ask “why” five times before I make a judgment call. Asking why at least five times before I form my opinion about a situation allows me to find the heart of a problem. Ted cares about his team’s feelings and making them better people. Finally, I relate to his famous BELIEVE sign. The first step toward achieving anything is believing you can. I’m not as good as Ted, but I believe I can be better.
Moses | Biblical figure
Alan Perry, Owner / Perry’s Emporium, Wilmington, NC
I try to lead my staff, and it seems like a seven-year or 40-year trial sometimes! Like Moses led his people through the desert, I say follow me, and they’re hesitant because I have big, hairy, audacious goals and plans. But money is always the best motivator. So, we have a fake ATM machine in the store full of 20, 50, and 100 dollar bills. Any time a staff member gets a 5-star review or a customer compliment or another associate commends them for something they’ve done, they can reach into it on Friday morning and pull out a bill. They go crazy when it’s $100, but they like the $20, too. We also give them extra time off. We have a good crew! And I have my two sons now who are helping me lead, Joshua and Jordan, who both have biblical names.
