Jewelry has a long history of great ideas. For a current trendy example, take the diamond line bracelet. Other ideas, however, have not been so widely welcomed. Let’s take a look at some jewelry concepts that have succeeded and some others that, well, wouldn’t.
GREAT IDEAS
?Something Blue?
Tennis Bracelets
Tolkowsky’s Ideal Cut Diamonds
The Velvet Jewelry Box
?Spend Two Months Salary?
Hearts and Arrows
The Sweet Sixteen Pearl Necklace
Cognac Diamonds
Chokers
College Fraternity Rings
Jewelry Store
NOT-SO GREAT IDEAS
?Something Blew?
Wrestling Bracelets
Big Jim’s Sloppy Cut Diamonds
The Ziploc Jewelry Baggie
?Give Us Your First-born?
Hammers and Sickles
The Midlife Crisis Diamond Cufflink
?Ripple? Diamonds
Choking
Jailhouse Posse Nipple Rings
JewelryStore.com
THE END ZONE
Advertisement
when harry met sally (reprise)
This time around, we offer you a jewelry advertising campaign that we’d love to see:
TV AD: THE SCREAMER
(Open on a nice restaurant, where a nervous man sits across from an excitable young woman. They have finished their dinner and are having a conversation. There’s an awkward silence.)
MAN: Sally, there’s something I want to ask you …
(Knowing what’s coming, she lets out a small squeak of excitement.)
WOMAN: Oh!
MAN: Well, we’ve been together for two years now … and … ummm …
Advertisement
(Another, louder squeal from her as the question approaches.)
WOMAN: Ooh!
MAN: Well, I was thinking … you know …
(An even louder squeal.)
WOMAN: OOH!
(The man is so nervous he rushes the next line.)
Advertisement
MAN: Well, you know I was thinking maybe you and I and … umm … and well, I was thinking … Katherine, will you marry me?
(As he finishes he pulls out an oversize ring box. The woman squeals again, louder than ever.)
WOMAN: AAAAH!
(The man opens the box to reveal a very undersized diamond ring. Cut to the woman’s horrified face.)
WOMAN: AAAAAAARGHHHHH!
(Cut to the man: looking terribly mortified as he realizes his diamond is too small. Cut to title card.)
Title: Who says size doesn’t matter? The diamond company recommends spending at least two months … no wait … make that three month’s salary. Or more. Yes. More.
Title: Visit your local diamond retailer today, and learn to how to select a diamond that will make her scream with joy, not disappointment.
(Cut to the restaurant. The man sobs quietly in his soup, the woman still screams.)
FADE TO BLACK.
