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True Tales

You Won’t Believe What This Associate Said to An Off-Duty Cop Shopping in His Store

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A law-enforcement officer would come in often in uniform, but one Saturday, he and his wife came in wearing jeans and t-shirts. Going to write up the repair envelope, my clerk said, “I know I know you, but I can’t place you.” He kindly replied, “Bill, the motorcycle officer.” To all of our amusement, my clerk replied without even thinking: “Oh, I didn’t recognize you with your clothes on!” – Frank Cafaro, Frank Cafaro Downtown Jewelers, Miami,FL    

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True Tales

“Even If You Were Cher, I Wouldn’t Loan You This Jewelry!”

An owner refuses to fall for this dumb yet real scam artist.

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ONE DAY, a limo pulled into my parking lot. The young lady who alit claimed to be the P.A. for Cher. She went on to pick out pieces from my case that she swore would work in that night’s performance and be returned the next day. I informed her if the star herself walked in, I wouldn’t hand over thousands of dollars worth of jewelry “on loan.” She called me some nasty names and left. Seems Cher was not performing anywhere near the East Coast that night and it was just a scam. Oh well! — James Doggett, Doggett Jewelry, Kingston, NH

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True Tales

You Won’t Believe Why This Customer Returned a Ring

He had really high standards.

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A MALE CUSTOMER ordered a $4,000 platinum band, which shortly arrived from Germany. He holds it up and puts it on; it fits perfectly. Then he peers intently inside the ring. “The third hallmark is a fraction out of line,” he says. We send it back to Germany and it duly arrives with the hallmark totally lined up. The customer comes in and says that he doesn’t want this ring as it’s like buying a Mercedes and the salesman dings the wing: he repairs it, but would you want a damaged Mercedes? Left me speechless. The customer still has a credit three years later. — Gordon Lawrie, Eidos, Santa Fe, NM

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True Tales

This Jeweler Had to Get Innovative with a Penis Ring

In emergencies, release latch.

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A lady came to get a ring for her boyfriend’s penis. We suggested that it would not be a good idea to get one that does not open as that could end up being dangerous. We had to get an arthritic shank from Stuller and make one that opens and closes like a mini baby bangle. Gene Arthur, Arthur’s Jewelry, Reidsville, NC 

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