Please Don’t Scare the Jewelry … and 31 More Pretty Hilarious Retailer Signs

Imagine this sign in your store, maybe a little smaller and understated and with a more tasteful font. Think of it as a small inside joke near the front edge of your most popular cabinets — “Please do not tap on glass. It scares the jewelry.” (Extra benefit: it helps keep people from leaving too many fingerprints on your display-case glass.)

California ice-cream dealer CVT Soft Serve got so tired of influencers asking for “deals”; instead, he decided to charge them double and even made a sign announcing the new policy.

SOURCE: INSTAGRAM

The “shop local” movement is one all jewelers should support — wholeheartedly. A sidewalk sign like this would be a lighthearted way to remind members of your community of the importance of using their dollars to support area businesses.

Okay, you won’t see this sign on the front of any of Tiffany’s or Hamilton Jewelers or Hyde Park or any of INSTORE’s America’s Coolest Jewelry Stores for 2025. But, for a small-town jeweler with a quirky sense of humor, this is a solidly humorous sign. Get it redesigned by a skilled designer with some tasteful fonts and you’re providing passing patrons with a nice chuckle.

We’re absolute suckers for a funny chalkboard sidewalk sign. And this one has a balance of humor and friendly vibes that we couldn’t resist.

Okay, obviously this sign is for a supermarket produce section. But what we love is the idea of using printed memes to add humor to the shopping experience. Not for every store, or even most stores, but if you’ve got a sense of humor (and good taste in memes), this could make shopping in your store a more fun experience.

Got a public urination problem in the area around your store? This is the sign for you.

This clothing store’s ransom-note style sales pitch wouldn’t be the worst idea for a jewelry store’s Main Street-facing front window.

Here’s a classic “Open” and “Closed” sign combination — with an awesome twist.

Another “Closed” sign guaranteed to make customers want to come back.

Here’s a “Big Sale” sign for people who despise hyped-up “Big Sale” signs. You can’t beat the honesty on display here.

An impactful way to immediately establish the correct toilet paper rules in your business’s bathroom.

Here’s a friendly way to remind customers to take it easy on your valued staff.

Got people littering outside your business? Slap up this hilariously passive-aggressive sign and watch the trash disappear.

A tasty gag for any business with an in-store bar.

Oh man, we would love to work at this business. Maybe we wouldn’t love to be a customer here. But work there? Sign us up.

With fall on its way, try putting your own spin on this auto repair firm’s gag about autumn’s most ubiquitous food seasoning/flavor.

Video surveillance signs are about the least friendly thing imaginable. Except this one.

This Domino’s Pizza franchisee certainly knows how to get people’s attention.

Behold, what simply must be the best smoking-area sign ever.

Nobody wants a sea of butts on the ground around their ornamental fish pond. This retailer’s sign makes the point without nagging.

And another rabbit-themed version.

This bathroom sign is so dark, and yet so funny. Truly selfie-worthy.

Don’t you think all stripmall signs should have such personality? Or any kind of personality at all. We’ll miss you, “The Sign!”

Who says you can’t hard-sell on Mother’s Day? You can’t twist arms any more effectively than this.

This warning against letting children run wild in your business probably rings familiar. (But still should get a smile.)

And here’s a far fresher (and funnier) spin on the “unattended children” warning.

And one more.

A perfect sidewalk sign … replace “Nice drinks” with “Gorgeous jewelry”.

And here’s another sidewalk sign variation that could stop passersby in their tracks.

Hate when people talk on the phone while at your register? Try a variation of this sign.

Here’s the perfect Lionel Richie meme to place next to your current hot seller.

For some jewelers, sweaty cash is right up there with “wrist cheese” as an occupational hazard.