St. Nick of Profits

by David Geller

Once upon a time in a jewelry store on Main
Stood a jeweler we all know, let’s just call her Jane.
She learned her craft going back a generation or two
And shared her excitement with her customers
Who loved her, and her trinkets too.
The store was clean.
The store was new.
That’s the reason business was good
Or at least that’s what she thought she knew.
When her father ran the store the old fashion way,
It made enough money for his family
And sent Jane to an Ivy League school
Which gave her skills so she’d be under-way.
Years ago, money was flowing in daily.
That’s when Clinton was in office
And by just opening the door
We all could be just a little lazy.
But along came the Internet
And margins fell off a bit.
“We’ve made up the loss
By buying gold and flipping it.
“Just can’t seem to get my head above water,”
Jane said with a smirk.
“I just don’t get it, my father and granddad did it;
I’m not making any money and all I do is paperwork.
I hired the staff,
They seem to be good.
I mean, I train them sometimes
And pay them what I should.
But no matter what I do
At the end of the day
I feel like I just encountered a whole day
Of fighting people off like they do in kung fu!”
So Jane sat down and wrote Santa a letter
“Please, dear old Saint Nick,
Help me make things in my store
A heck of a lot better.”
Weeks went by and she thought
he wouldn’t listen.
But on the morning of the 25th
Her wishes were about to come true.
She was about to get a new mission.
She jumped to the room, housing the chimney
To see someone sitting there.
“It was just him and me.”
He looked pretty normal, except for his hair.
St. Nick? or so she thought,
A skinny little guy, not at all she suspected,
Sitting next to her tree, stylus in hand,
Looking spiffy in his suit, double breasted.
“What’s the trouble my dear?”
He asked while writing on his iPad tablet.
“Your letter was frantic,
you’re a jeweler by trade.
Money should be coming to you
like steel to a magnet.”
“Oh, kind sir, my father did it this way,
I followed in his steps.
But it’s not working anymore.
Money’s hard to come by,
and the fun has long since gone.
I don’t have any money,
even with customers at my doorstep.”
“It’s very simple to see.
You’ve been looking at your profit and loss,
Instead of looking at the money.
You’re a custodian of cash,
much more than just a boss.”
Jane mustered up the courage
to spill out her heart:
“What can I do to make the store an
me be all I possibly can be?
And not spend my days,
Just looking at flow charts?”
“OK, Jane, here’s the secret to having money:
Just do this every week or month.
It’s so simple, you’ll think it’s funny.
I’m tired of arguing with jewelers
so I’ll only tell you once.
Your dad would think your margins
are way too low.
You have to turn it faster than he.
This will increase your cash flow.
This, I guarantee.
Buy it for fashion, buy it by price.
Don’t get married to it.
Don’t want to see it 12 months from now,
Even less will suffice.
Nine months at full price.
Give it a try.
Next three months give it a hint
You’re going to say bye, bye.
At the end of month 12,
Discount it like it should.
Month 15 pops around, and
The sales staff gets paid a spiff to
unload it for good.
Send everyone thank-you notes,
To battery customers as well.
Soon the money will be flowing,
Your staff and you will be feeling swell.”
And with a bit of a clatter,
Up the chimney he went.
All he left behind was his
iPad and sale signs with lots of “percents.”
So Jane did as he asked,
“I did it the next day.
We ran a sale on old merchandise
And did it his way.
The stuff flew out the door,
It flew out of sight.
“The new stuff was reordered each week.
No matter what the employees said,
I did it because I knew he was right.
When it was sold, we checked the date.
If we owned six months or less,
We gave it another chance
To be a moneymaking heavyweight.”
She dedicated a showcase,
Called it “Goodbye to Old Friends.”
Pretty soon the store was clicking
Because Jane could afford to stock the new trends.
Didn’t take long, payables were down to nothing,
“Life was getting better, I wish I had done this sooner.
I really dreaded this in the beginning
Like I was getting a tumor.
Now the staff are swaddled in raises.
Me too a bit more pay
And a lot more fun.
It’s amazing what cash will do
to give us all smiling faces.
So good night to one,
Good night to the mall.
Here’s to a happy holiday season
And a helluva new year to one and all.”