WE HAD A “CUSTOMER” come in looking for matching wedding bands for him and his soon-to-be wife. As my office manager bent down to show him a ring, he pressed his bare manhood against the glass. She quickly came in the back office and told me what had happened and I called the police, who didn’t pick up (in our small town, they are open only banking hours). So I called dispatch at the next town and they sent over an officer. The officer walked around the store and every time he approached the flasher, the man would face the other way but continue to press against the glass. Feeling the heat, the flasher made a move to leave, but the officer stepped in front of him, looked down and pointed right at the man’s fly as if to scold it. The man looked down, tucked it in and apologized under his breath as he fled out the door. The cop went after him and returned shortly to tell us the man claimed he had just used the bathroom at a convenience store. The officer disputed his story given the amount of full three-piece exposure and asked him not to return, to which the man said, “Where am I supposed to buy my wedding rings then?” The officer told him that given the embarrassment, he felt that neither us nor the flasher should feel comfortable doing business from here on out. We thanked the officer, then I drew the short straw and got to Windex all the cases. — told anonymously to INSTORE’s Big Survey, 2016