It only took 18 years.

Sometimes the local celebrity isn’t as big a deal as you think he is.

We do believe in following your vision. Except if your vision involves taxidermy.

Not every transgression can be solved — or needs to be solved — with a pair of diamond studs.

Skinny Eyebrow Lady is going to love this.

Less cowbell!

Let the alcohol talk.

It isn’t great for the teeth either.

This year, let your talents shine … or maybe “shine” isn’t the right verb.

It’s called the “Glengarry Glen Ross” school of sales management.

Let’s get real.

And calling it a “whatchamacallit” is not an acceptable replacement.

Remember, selling jewelry isn’t a zero-sum game.