“If my girlfriend punches someone in the face and bends a prong, would that be covered?”
A guy walks in and is looking at birthstone rings. He asks if we have a warranty, then proceeds to say, “If my girlfriend punches someone in the face and bends a prong, would that be covered?” —Ty T., Azle, TX
A guy came in last week looking for a “Sorry I knocked you up gift.” — Janice K., North Battleford, Saskatchewan, Canada
We ran a promo offering a ring in “any size” for the same price across the board. I received a phone call from a client to inquire if he could buy the ring in size 40. Four zero! I asked what he possibly needed a ring that big for. His reply: “Any size, same price? I want to buy a few and take them to the cash-for-gold place down the street.” Guess what promo we never did again. — Deric M., Oceanside, CA
During rivalry week here in California we had a gentlemen come in wearing his UCLA colors at the same time we had a lady wearing her USC colors. He looked at her and said “USC, huh? My maid went there!” She calmly looked at him and said, “You know, you would not be the first person to have a maid who is smarter than himself!” Touche! — Alex W., Manhattan, CA
A woman corrected me on my pronunciation of “amethyst.” She insisted it was pronounced “am-a-stist.” She also was interested in seeing a “a-queer-marine.” — Dennis P., Johnstown, PA
This article originally appeared in the October 2015 edition of INSTORE.