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True Tales

True Tales: Did They Really Just Say That?

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Getting punched with a ring

“If my girlfriend punches someone in the face and bends a prong, would that be covered?”

A guy walks in and is looking at birthstone rings. He asks if we have a warranty, then proceeds to say, “If my girlfriend punches someone in the face and bends a prong, would that be covered?” —Ty T., Azle, TX


A guy came in last week looking for a “Sorry I knocked you up gift.” — Janice K., North Battleford, Saskatchewan, Canada


We ran a promo offering a ring in “any size” for the same price across the board. I received a phone call from a client to inquire if he could buy the ring in size 40. Four zero! I asked what he possibly needed a ring that big for. His reply: “Any size, same price? I want to buy a few and take them to the cash-for-gold place down the street.” Guess what promo we never did again. — Deric M., Oceanside, CA


During rivalry week here in California we had a gentlemen come in wearing his UCLA colors at the same time we had a lady wearing her USC colors. He looked at her and said “USC, huh? My maid went there!” She calmly looked at him and said, “You know, you would not be the first person to have a maid who is smarter than himself!” Touche! — Alex W., Manhattan, CA


A woman corrected me on my pronunciation of “amethyst.” She insisted it was pronounced “am-a-stist.” She also was interested in seeing a “a-queer-marine.” — Dennis P., Johnstown, PA

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This article originally appeared in the October 2015 edition of INSTORE.

 

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Texas Jeweler Knew He'd Get Only One Shot at a GOB Sale, So He Wanted to Make It Count

Most retailers only have one GOB sale in their lifetimes. This was the case for Gary Zoet, owner of Shannon Fine Jewelry in Houston, Texas. “Wilkerson has done thousands of these sales,” says Zoet. “I’ve never done one, so it’s logical to have somebody with experience do it.” The result exceeded Zoet’s expectations. Wilkerson took care of everything from marketing to paperwork. When it’s time for you to consider the same, shouldn’t you trust the experts in liquidation?

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True Tales

You Won’t Believe Why This Customer Returned a Ring

He had really high standards.

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A male customer ordered a $4,000 platinum band, which shortly arrived from Germany. He holds it up and puts it on; it fits perfectly. Then he peers intently inside the ring. “The third hallmark is a fraction out of line,” he says. We send it back to Germany and it duly arrives with the hallmark totally lined up. The customer comes in and says that he doesn’t want this ring as it’s like buying a Mercedes and the salesman dings the wing: he repairs it, but would you want a damaged Mercedes? Left me speechless. The customer still has a credit three years later. — Gordon Lawrie, Eidos, Santa Fe, NM<.

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True Tales

This Jeweler Had to Get Innovative with a Penis Ring

In emergencies, release latch.

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A lady came to get a ring for her boyfriend’s penis. We suggested that it would not be a good idea to get one that does not open as that could end up being dangerous. We had to get an arthritic shank from Stuller and make one that opens and closes like a mini baby bangle. Gene Arthur, Arthur’s Jewelry, Reidsville, NC 

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True Tales

Funny But True: You Can’t Make These Surprising Stories Up

The joy of surprises…

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Customer was in the store buying his wife a surprise anniversary gift when his phone rang and we overheard him explaining that he was someplace else. His wife walks in to pick up her surprise gift to him while still on the phone with him. Ended up nicely, but the surprise gifts were no longer a surprise!

Customer came in on Friday to pick up a $60,000 ring we created. The next day, his girlfriend came by to scream at us for not having finished the ring. We just had to take it.

Provided anonymously to INSTORE’s 2016 Big Survey

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