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True Tales: Did They Really Just Say That?

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Getting punched with a ring
“If my girlfriend punches someone in the face and bends a prong, would that be covered?”

A guy walks in and is looking at birthstone rings. He asks if we have a warranty, then proceeds to say, “If my girlfriend punches someone in the face and bends a prong, would that be covered?” —Ty T., Azle, TX


A guy came in last week looking for a “Sorry I knocked you up gift.” — Janice K., North Battleford, Saskatchewan, Canada


We ran a promo offering a ring in “any size” for the same price across the board. I received a phone call from a client to inquire if he could buy the ring in size 40. Four zero! I asked what he possibly needed a ring that big for. His reply: “Any size, same price? I want to buy a few and take them to the cash-for-gold place down the street.” Guess what promo we never did again. — Deric M., Oceanside, CA


During rivalry week here in California we had a gentlemen come in wearing his UCLA colors at the same time we had a lady wearing her USC colors. He looked at her and said “USC, huh? My maid went there!” She calmly looked at him and said, “You know, you would not be the first person to have a maid who is smarter than himself!” Touche! — Alex W., Manhattan, CA


A woman corrected me on my pronunciation of “amethyst.” She insisted it was pronounced “am-a-stist.” She also was interested in seeing a “a-queer-marine.” — Dennis P., Johnstown, PA

 

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This article originally appeared in the October 2015 edition of INSTORE.

 

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Four Decades of Excellence: How Wilkerson Transformed a Jeweler's Retirement into Celebration

After 45 years serving the Milwaukee community, Treiber & Straub Jewelers owner Michael Straub faced a significant life transition. At 75, the veteran jeweler made a personal decision many business owners understand: "I think it's time. I want to enjoy my wife with my grandchildren for the next 10, 15 years." Wilkerson's expertise transformed this major business transition into an extraordinary success. Their comprehensive approach to managing the going-out-of-business sale created unprecedented customer response—with lines forming outside the store and limits on how many shoppers could enter at once due to fire safety regulations. The results exceeded all expectations. "Wilkerson did a phenomenal job," Straub enthuses. "They were there for you through the whole thing, helped you with promoting it, helping you on day-to-day business. I can't speak enough for how well they did." The partnership didn't just facilitate a business closing; it created a celebratory finale to decades of service while allowing Straub to confidently step into his well-earned retirement.

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True Tales

True Tales: Did They Really Just Say That?

Published

on

Getting punched with a ring
“If my girlfriend punches someone in the face and bends a prong, would that be covered?”

A guy walks in and is looking at birthstone rings. He asks if we have a warranty, then proceeds to say, “If my girlfriend punches someone in the face and bends a prong, would that be covered?” —Ty T., Azle, TX


A guy came in last week looking for a “Sorry I knocked you up gift.” — Janice K., North Battleford, Saskatchewan, Canada


We ran a promo offering a ring in “any size” for the same price across the board. I received a phone call from a client to inquire if he could buy the ring in size 40. Four zero! I asked what he possibly needed a ring that big for. His reply: “Any size, same price? I want to buy a few and take them to the cash-for-gold place down the street.” Guess what promo we never did again. — Deric M., Oceanside, CA


During rivalry week here in California we had a gentlemen come in wearing his UCLA colors at the same time we had a lady wearing her USC colors. He looked at her and said “USC, huh? My maid went there!” She calmly looked at him and said, “You know, you would not be the first person to have a maid who is smarter than himself!” Touche! — Alex W., Manhattan, CA


A woman corrected me on my pronunciation of “amethyst.” She insisted it was pronounced “am-a-stist.” She also was interested in seeing a “a-queer-marine.” — Dennis P., Johnstown, PA

 

Advertisement

This article originally appeared in the October 2015 edition of INSTORE.

 

Advertisement

SPONSORED VIDEO

Four Decades of Excellence: How Wilkerson Transformed a Jeweler's Retirement into Celebration

After 45 years serving the Milwaukee community, Treiber & Straub Jewelers owner Michael Straub faced a significant life transition. At 75, the veteran jeweler made a personal decision many business owners understand: "I think it's time. I want to enjoy my wife with my grandchildren for the next 10, 15 years." Wilkerson's expertise transformed this major business transition into an extraordinary success. Their comprehensive approach to managing the going-out-of-business sale created unprecedented customer response—with lines forming outside the store and limits on how many shoppers could enter at once due to fire safety regulations. The results exceeded all expectations. "Wilkerson did a phenomenal job," Straub enthuses. "They were there for you through the whole thing, helped you with promoting it, helping you on day-to-day business. I can't speak enough for how well they did." The partnership didn't just facilitate a business closing; it created a celebratory finale to decades of service while allowing Straub to confidently step into his well-earned retirement.

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