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Everything I Need To Know, I Learned From Santa!

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Everything I Need To Know, I Learned From Santa!

In her upcoming, mega-useful holiday store management session, dubbed “Everything I Need To Know, I Learned From Santa!”, Kate Peterson will be providing retailers with a schedule to maximize their productivity and profits over the final 90 days before the holidays.

Starting at 10:15 am Friday, it’s one of the highlights of Friday’s pre-show education program at The SMART Jewelry Show Dallas. (The session will also repeat on Monday, September 10 at 2 pm.)

Want a better holiday season? Get to Dallas. And attend Kate’s session, and all the other great holiday-building sessions we have planned.

On the other hand, you could follow the typical jewelry store operating procedure, as detailed in this story from the “In the End” archives (from September 2003):

SEPTEMBER

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1-21 Conserve your energy, man. Summer officially ends on September 21. Why do people start acting like summer is over the exact second Labor Day weekend ends? That’s stupid.

22 Begin holiday planning. Visit car dealerships. Decide which make of new car you will buy yourself with all that holiday dough you’re gonna make.

OCTOBER

6 Psych your staff up by promising huge raises after you all “kick butt” this holiday season. Don’t say any more than that. “Kick butt” is specific enough.

15 Comparison-shop other jewelers. Make fun of all the ugly, boring jewelry they have. You should try to do this just loudly enough for other customers to hear, but not the store’s staff. It’ll make you feel good, and it’s a great way to attract potential new customers to your store.

NOVEMBER

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23 The season begins. If a customer asks for something you don’t have, look at them all funny and say: “Nobody buys those anymore.” This is a great way to make customers trust your product judgement, and to make them more eager to spend their money on all the cool stuff you bought.

24 People are now starting to shop heavily. And they will tell you that they want to have their stuff wrapped, too. Don’t fall for it. Tell them you know a great place that does wrapping at the other side of the mall. Or for wow! service, buy wrapping paper and ribbons to keep on hand. You will then be able to sell this to your customers. (Shoot for a triple keystone markup … as buying all that stuff is a pain in the ass.)

26 Tell all staff that from now until Christmas day, they will have to work 12 hours a day, seven days a week. If somebody asks for a day off — or even several hours off — for their own holiday shopping, fire them. Because they clearly have misplaced priorities.

DECEMBER

1 Check the cleanliness of your cases and your inventory. If things aren’t quite as clean as they should be, ask two or three of your employees to work through the night, polishing jewelry. The next morning, thank them for their effort and be sure to point out any pieces that still look dirty.

3 Turn off the volume on your store telephone. It will otherwise ring loudly and frequently, distracting both you and your customers.

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6 On numerous occassions, you will have several customers in the store at one time. Practice the art of saying, “I’ll be with you in a minute!” Put a hard emphasis on the last word. (If you need help, imagine squishing a toad with your foot.) This quickly quiets down the insistent customer, allowing you to concentrate on the sale at hand.

7 Institute new sales training program, called “Just Watch What I Do, and Do It Exactly Like I Do, Dammit.” Hold short sales meetings eight to ten times a day to make sure your salespeople understand all of the intricacies of this new program.

10 Note who is making the highest level of sales amidst your employees. Promise them a huge raise in salary if they can sell twice as much in the next two weeks. Talk to them frequently. Rub his or her neck whenever they seem tired. For anyone selling less, give them the silent treatment.

15 Check what your fastest-selling merchandise is by looking through your cases to see which areas are empty. Immediately call the vendor of those products and demand to have more sent to your store. If the company says they couldn’t possibly fulfill the order, threaten to stop buying from them and to bad-mouth them to every other jeweler you know — and you know a lot of them. If the company *still* can’t fulfill your order, be sure to write yourself a post-it note to remind yourself to order lots more of that product next year.

17 Take afternoon off to go to the doctor’s office. Have that ulcer checked out.

18 Let your staff know the details of your doctor’s visit. Don’t hold back. Refer to your suffering frequently. Moan occasionally, if so inclined. The thought of you in pain will surely inspire your team to work harder.

23 Go to church. Repeat the following prayer. “Oh sweet Jesus, oh sweet Jesus, please let me make a couple of big sales before Christmas.” Repeat 10 times. It just might happen.

24 Sulk. Walk around as though in a daze, slowly shaking your head, with one half of your shirt untucked. Don’t talk to anyone, not even customers who address you directly. Your staff will note your misery, and will work their hardest to put a smile back on your face once again. This should also eliminate any requests for huge raises after the holidays.

25 Spend day weeping and sobbing. Pour sleeping pills out onto the bathroom counter, count them, then put them back in the bottle. Repeat until New Year’s.

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Everything I Need To Know, I Learned From Santa!

Published

on

Everything I Need To Know, I Learned From Santa!

In her upcoming, mega-useful holiday store management session, dubbed “Everything I Need To Know, I Learned From Santa!”, Kate Peterson will be providing retailers with a schedule to maximize their productivity and profits over the final 90 days before the holidays.

Starting at 10:15 am Friday, it’s one of the highlights of Friday’s pre-show education program at The SMART Jewelry Show Dallas. (The session will also repeat on Monday, September 10 at 2 pm.)

Want a better holiday season? Get to Dallas. And attend Kate’s session, and all the other great holiday-building sessions we have planned.

On the other hand, you could follow the typical jewelry store operating procedure, as detailed in this story from the “In the End” archives (from September 2003):

Advertisement

SEPTEMBER

1-21 Conserve your energy, man. Summer officially ends on September 21. Why do people start acting like summer is over the exact second Labor Day weekend ends? That’s stupid.

22 Begin holiday planning. Visit car dealerships. Decide which make of new car you will buy yourself with all that holiday dough you’re gonna make.

OCTOBER

6 Psych your staff up by promising huge raises after you all “kick butt” this holiday season. Don’t say any more than that. “Kick butt” is specific enough.

15 Comparison-shop other jewelers. Make fun of all the ugly, boring jewelry they have. You should try to do this just loudly enough for other customers to hear, but not the store’s staff. It’ll make you feel good, and it’s a great way to attract potential new customers to your store.

Advertisement

NOVEMBER

23 The season begins. If a customer asks for something you don’t have, look at them all funny and say: “Nobody buys those anymore.” This is a great way to make customers trust your product judgement, and to make them more eager to spend their money on all the cool stuff you bought.

24 People are now starting to shop heavily. And they will tell you that they want to have their stuff wrapped, too. Don’t fall for it. Tell them you know a great place that does wrapping at the other side of the mall. Or for wow! service, buy wrapping paper and ribbons to keep on hand. You will then be able to sell this to your customers. (Shoot for a triple keystone markup … as buying all that stuff is a pain in the ass.)

26 Tell all staff that from now until Christmas day, they will have to work 12 hours a day, seven days a week. If somebody asks for a day off — or even several hours off — for their own holiday shopping, fire them. Because they clearly have misplaced priorities.

DECEMBER

1 Check the cleanliness of your cases and your inventory. If things aren’t quite as clean as they should be, ask two or three of your employees to work through the night, polishing jewelry. The next morning, thank them for their effort and be sure to point out any pieces that still look dirty.

Advertisement

3 Turn off the volume on your store telephone. It will otherwise ring loudly and frequently, distracting both you and your customers.

6 On numerous occassions, you will have several customers in the store at one time. Practice the art of saying, “I’ll be with you in a minute!” Put a hard emphasis on the last word. (If you need help, imagine squishing a toad with your foot.) This quickly quiets down the insistent customer, allowing you to concentrate on the sale at hand.

7 Institute new sales training program, called “Just Watch What I Do, and Do It Exactly Like I Do, Dammit.” Hold short sales meetings eight to ten times a day to make sure your salespeople understand all of the intricacies of this new program.

10 Note who is making the highest level of sales amidst your employees. Promise them a huge raise in salary if they can sell twice as much in the next two weeks. Talk to them frequently. Rub his or her neck whenever they seem tired. For anyone selling less, give them the silent treatment.

15 Check what your fastest-selling merchandise is by looking through your cases to see which areas are empty. Immediately call the vendor of those products and demand to have more sent to your store. If the company says they couldn’t possibly fulfill the order, threaten to stop buying from them and to bad-mouth them to every other jeweler you know — and you know a lot of them. If the company *still* can’t fulfill your order, be sure to write yourself a post-it note to remind yourself to order lots more of that product next year.

17 Take afternoon off to go to the doctor’s office. Have that ulcer checked out.

18 Let your staff know the details of your doctor’s visit. Don’t hold back. Refer to your suffering frequently. Moan occasionally, if so inclined. The thought of you in pain will surely inspire your team to work harder.

23 Go to church. Repeat the following prayer. “Oh sweet Jesus, oh sweet Jesus, please let me make a couple of big sales before Christmas.” Repeat 10 times. It just might happen.

24 Sulk. Walk around as though in a daze, slowly shaking your head, with one half of your shirt untucked. Don’t talk to anyone, not even customers who address you directly. Your staff will note your misery, and will work their hardest to put a smile back on your face once again. This should also eliminate any requests for huge raises after the holidays.

25 Spend day weeping and sobbing. Pour sleeping pills out onto the bathroom counter, count them, then put them back in the bottle. Repeat until New Year’s.

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